


Denial

by SoulSand (orphan_account)



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-24
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-10-23 09:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10716585
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/SoulSand
Summary: Jaebum will do anything not to admit he likes Jackson.





	1. >1<

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't proof read, feel free to let me know of any mistakes.

Jaebum had pretty much everything. The king of the school if you will, and some did. Jaebum didn't even realise how popular he was at first, not really understanding why either. It only became clear once more and more people just happened to know his name without him ever interacting with them before. 

The first time it happened Jaebum was expectantly a little creeped out but it slowly became the norm. Though always sticking to the same reaction of giving a strange look and trying to leave. Even though everyone knew him, he still stuck to his close friends.

He had his longest and closest friend Jinyoung, the boy a grade younger than him Youngjae. He kind of took the boy under his wing seeing how shy he was, doing him a favour really. High school is hard it's good to have someone at the top watching your back. Then there was the soccer team that he's of course, the captain of, only two of them though he'd call 'close friends'. Yugyeom and Bambam. The two always telling Jaebum what he needed to know about what's going on. Last but not least he had the older, out of school with his own place and for the last year or so alcohol buyer (not that that mattered this year) Mark. 

He had everything till the life ruining Jackson came and stole it all. The bleach blonde gym addict. Okay not all, he was still the captain and he couldn't magically know Jinyoung longer but everything else. 

Jaebum felt completely blind sided by the new kid. He never saw it coming, he kind of pitted the boy nicknamed 'princess' finding it pathetic he never once related at the insult. Never seeing the relation to his own nickname or even the slight thought it was about 'title'. He bounced around like an idiot, Jaebum just couldn't watch. 

It wasn't until his first encounter with him that he figured out how much had changed. He had come up to him seemingly out of nowhere, which was unusual for the loud boy you could always hear coming and going. 

A simple party invite and everything came falling down. It turned out he can't magically know Jinyoung longer but he did so happen to know Mark longer. Jaebum tuned out the childhood stories of them Jackson rattled on about.

Being invited to a house party at a house he'd usually host parties at wasn't the worst part either. The fact his four supposedly 'close' friends had already said they were going without a mention to him was. He didn't have to ask to know, it's common knowledge not to mention a party to someone not invited. So he saved them from keeping it a secret by bringing it up first and held in a snort when his friend had the nerve to say 'Oh I was going to tell you about that'. 

Jaebum had declined, saying he was busy without an explanation. He really had no reason not to go other than being invited by Jackson. Jackson hadn't tried to push him to come, simply pulling a sad face that Jaebum walked away from. His friends on the other hand seemed to need an answer. 

He through out something about a family dinner and no one argued. Jaebum had never said anything about having a family dinner before, his friends should have known it was lie, yet they just gave up.

Jaebum left their shared lunch table early, pissed to see Jackson had taken his seat almost as soon as he left. Just because someone's good looking doesn't make them a nice person, Jacksons obviously evil, how could his friends be so easy fooled. 

Jaebum instead spent his weekend working out and wallowing in self pity. His working out in the small gym he had a home had nothing to do with him comparing his arms to Jacksons, Jaebum told himself more than once. Before and after the mini rant about 'why did he always have to swear sleeveless shirts? What a blatant show off.' 

It was Sunday night when he had calmed sound and convinced himself to get over it. Letting it get to him only meant he won and Jaebum wasn't going to admit defeat to that idiot. He was going to be the 'bigger' person. Who cares about being popular anyway. 

All this was enough to help Jaebum get a good nights rest. He felt great until he got to school on Monday, the only thing people were talking about was the party and Jaebum couldn't feel any more left on the sidelines of every conversation. When lunch rolled around, Bambam and Yugyeom had abandoned Jaebums table for the soccer clubs leaving only Jinyoung and Youngjae, both of which were happily chatting about said party.

Jaebum kept quiet, thinking mostly about hitting Jackson and glaring at him from across the room. It wasnt until after soccer practise when he and Youngjae were putting the balls away that he had his first proper conversation of the day. Jackson had yelled out a goodbye, somehow he had joined the soccer team without him knowing. No one told him anything anymore.

With Youngjae, Jaebum felt relaxed. He was nice yet honest, he wouldn't lie to Jaebum, not ever.

"How was the party? Did you have fun?" Jaebum asked as they dropped the bag of balls in the storage room.  
"Yeah, it was fun. How was family dinner?" There was something in his voice that suggested he knew it was a lie but Jaebum didn't comment on it just shrugging back.  
"What's your problem with Jackson?" The question paired with the step Youngjae took in front of Jaebum really threw him off guard.

"Nothing." Jaebum trying to sound confused but mostly just annoyed. Youngjae waited a moment, scanning Jaebums face before rolling his eyes and walking away. 

Jaebum thought that was it until he stopped and turned back around.  
"Whatever problem you have with him, just drop it. His a nice guy and you're acting like a total dick." 

Jaebum had never seen Youngjae so angry. To in shock to respond, he realised his subtle hatred might not have been so subtle. The glaring and total ignoring whenever the guy talked, even when it was directly and clearly to him. 

Youngjae meant a lot to Jaebum, and if he were to suck it up and get over something it would probably be for him. So that's what he did, at least tried to. 

For the next few weeks Jaebum tried his hardest not to hate Jackson but it had already got to the point where everything the other did annoyed him. Apparently he had done well though, slowly earning Youngjaes smiles back and even an out of place but well understood 'thank you' from him.

A month later and Jaebums and Jackson still weren't friends but they did talk and get along. Jackson sat at Jaebums table more than Jaebum would like but with Jackson came back Bambam and Yugyeom. Jaebum had hoped over time he would get better but it didn't. Watching Jackson befriend his friends and have inside jokes with them just made it worse. 

Apart of him felt like Jackson knew, he knew no matter what he said Jaebum had to smile and laugh and couldn't argue. He was sure he was milking for all that he could. 

"Hey bummie." Jackson cooed as Jaebum cringed slightly which Jackson only laughed at.  
"Hey Jacks." Jaebum said back awkward since they had already been sitting next to each other for a while. The fact he kept insisting on sitting next him just added to Jaebums theory that he knew.  
"Princess." Jackson corrected with a pout.  
"No." Jaebum said feeling it was a bit to short he added a smile. He looked to Youngjae, like he often did when he was talking to Jackson, in a 'see what I do for you' way and like a lot of the time, Youngjae wasn't paying attention.  
"Anyway," Jackson sighed getting Jaebums attention back. "My birthdays next month and I want to throw a party but I'm stuck on themes. I'm thinking casino or maybe playboy? Is it too early for Halloween dress up? I kind of just want to see everyone in costumes." Jackson went on.  
"I don't think you're asking the right person." Jaebum replied jumping in before he kept going.  
"Right, true. What I wanted to ask was do you think Mark will let me have it at his?" Jackson asked face blank and waiting. The question throwing Jaebum off a bit. They knew each other longer, they're apparently best friends, so why was he asking Jaebum.  
"Again, asking the wrong person. Ask Mark." Jaebum said still confused. Jackson turned back in his seat with a head nod but face still blank and Jaebum couldn't figure out what he said wrong. Maybe it was his tone. 

A month later and Jaebum found himself at Marks setting up for Jacksons party. At first he wanted to say no, but it would just be him and Mark and it had been a while since he'd seen his friend. Mark seemed to have two moods, calm and sarcastic or goofy and giggly. He had switched a few times before settling on exhausted as they finished. 

Jackson had settled on casino so most of the decorations were black red and white streamers and balloons. There was a table set up for gambling inside and one for beer pong outside. After that and the rest were done Mark and Jaebum settled outside with drink. 

Finally having time to talk about things other than decoration placement, Mark caught Jaebum up about his last couple months. 

Mark taught karate to kids on the weekend and delivered pizzas throughout the week nights. Everything had been the same as before. His students were getting better, one went too far a few weeks ago leaving another with a nasty bruise but lucky enough the parents were understanding though he hasn't seen the kid since. He also got invited in, while delivering pizzas. The woman was clearly drunk so he declined. Just when Jaebum was about to start on his couple months, a stressed Jackson walked out arms full of more decorations, a few Jaebum could swear were pom-poms. 

"Please, no, why." Mark whined. 

"Yes, because inside looks so bare." Jaebum and Mark look at each other sharing in an internal groan. "And thank you." 

"You're welcome." Mark jokingly glares getting up and picking up some of the decorations dropped on the table and the rest from his arms. 

"Hi!" Jackson perks up at Jaebum who had decided to finish what's left of his drink before heading in and now regretting it.  
"Hey." He gave half and smile and a two finger wave, salute style. 

It was hard to watch the two get along so much. He had gotten over comparing arms but now he found himself comparing friendships. The way Mark seemed to be having more fun in five minutes of decorating with Jackson then he had all day with Jaebum. Jackson kept trying to drag him into the conversation but each time just made him feel more awkward and out of place, to put an end to it he decided to finish decorating outside. Taking another drink from the mini fridge outside. 

The night started pretty well, aside from being in the same black jeans and white shirt he had on all day while everyone else was in suits and sequence dresses, Jaebum had fun. He had avoided Jackson pretty successfully, moving away without being noticed whenever he saw him coming close. It was only till he overheard the guy talk about how 'Mark and Jaebum set up everything for me' that Jaebums mood dropped. The 'for me' part really hitting a nerve. He was sober enough to know he was over reacting but too drunk to not want to go over and correct him. Lucky enough his feet headed up stares instead. It was odd how dark and quiet upstairs was compared to down stairs. 

Jaebum made his way to the bathroom, cleaning on his hands on the basin and contemplating wether to go home or not. Just after deciding that he'd go home he heard the door to Marks room open. He opened the sliding door in the bathroom expecting to see Mark and say goodbye but instead it was Jackson. Of course it was Jackson.

"What are you doing in here?" Jaebum snapped, too drunk to play nice right now.  
"Just getting a jacket." Jackson smiled. He had gone for a sleeveless shirt and blazer, because of course he did. Jaebum watched as Jackson walked over to Marks closet, wabbling only slightly.  
"Did you ask?" Jaebums tone still angry.  
"No, I don't have too, he'll be fine with it." Jackson said turning around pulling his arms into the black zip up hoodie.  
"How do you know if you don't ask." Jaebum grumbled mostly. He couldn't feel his legs move, it was if his vision merely zoomed in on Jacksons face. "You just take whatever you want huh? Don't even give a thought to who you're taking it from huh?" Jaebum knew he had to calm down seeing how Jacksons smile had vanished and eyes widened. Jaebum refused to believe that was fear he could see. Sure Jaebum was taller but with the way Jackson looked after his body, he just didn't see him being afraid. 

"I'm sorry, I-" Jackson spoke softly.  
"You're sorry?" Jaebum almost yelled hitting his arms against the wall behind him. Not exactly sure when he backed Jackson up against it but didn't care, he was pissed. Angry that Jackson dare act all small and innocent, Jaebum was supposed to be the victim here not him. 

Jackson wasn't making eye contact adding to Jaebums anger but his eyes did happen to land on Jaebums mouth, it was only when Jackson licked his own that Jaebum realised he was looking at his too. Jaebum quickly pushed himself off the wall and taking a few not so straight steps back. 

"You know what, fuck you. Don't come near me." Jaebum said pointing an angry finger at him as he left the room. 

He had to slow his feet to not literally run out of the house but once he got to the foot path he took off. To drunk to remember how he luckily enough made it home. 

It was around noon on Sunday when Jaebum woke up to loud banging on his bedroom door. Quickly he checked the time on his phone ignoring the messages on the screen. 

"What!" He groaned almost literally rolling out of bed. Heavy thuds for foot steps he opened to door to see a very displeased Jinyoung.

"What the fuck did you do to Jackon?" His voice stern, in a way it reminded Jaebum of his father.  
"Nothing." Jaebum groaned attaching his head and walking back to his bed to sit down and look for pants.  
"He spent his birthday party crying, the only word anyone could make out was your name." Jinyoungs cold and stern voice was slipping.  
"It's his birthday and he can cry if he wants to?" Jaebum offered with a shrug and smile that Jinyoung looked all too ready to slap off his face.  
"You really are a peace of... work." Jinyoung said through gritted teeth.  
"I didn't touch him." Jaebum sighed not sure what the fuss was about his memory failing him but he was sure he didn't touch him.  
"With his sort, maybe that's what his upset about." Jaebum mumbled mostly to himself.  
"Excuse me?" Jinyoung almost roared surprising Jaebum but he wasn't all that awake and extremely hungover so he didn't give a response other than a flinch. 

Before he knew it Jinyoung was gone and Jaebum was sleepily going through the messages on his phone. Seemed everyone was mad at him for upsetting the birthday boy. 

Sunday dragged into Monday and Jaebum spent most of it in bed. Having discovered through countless angry texts that everyone in school hated him he decided to take the day off. His parents allowed it thinking he was sick but they'd expect him to go tomorrow.


	2. >2<

Tuesday and Wednesday were just as bad as he'd imagined. No one spoke to him, only offering glares. His own friends made it very clear they're not his friends anymore. If he thought he was losing them beige he was sure he'd completely lost them now. 

Wednesday afternoon after probably the worst soccer practise imaginable Jaebum watched as Youngjae left without a word. He wasn't really expecting him to stay but seeing him leave still hurt. When out of everyone the one person who stayed back to help pack equipment away was Jackson, Jaebum tried to bite his tongue.

"Happy? You've ruined my life." Jaebums tongue slipped.  
"What? No, of course not." Jackson sighed keeping his distance.  
"What's next, going to ask to become captain too?" Jaebum continued.  
"No." Jackson answered shortly followed by "The coach did ask me but." muttered under his breath but not quiet enough to escape Jaebums ears.  
"Bull, why would he do that?" Jaebum snapped walking over and grabbing the ball out of Jacksons hand.  
"You've been a little off lately, you didn't even show up on Monday." Jackson said voice small, he was avoiding eye contact again.  
"Whatever, fine take that too." Jaebum said in huff, throwing the ball too hard for such a small distance straight to Jacksons chest, was thrown off guard taking a step back on impact. Jaebum just walked about about two metres away when he heard Jackson yell he said no. Jaebum didn't stop walking, not until the huge thud on the back of his head almost knocked him over. 

He turned eyes narrowed in on the attacker, who still someone looked like the victim, eyes wide and in slight shock, more so over what he did then Jaebums reaction. Jaebum didn't think twice before running straight at him and tackling him to the ground. 

After a bit of a tumble, it wasn't long till Jackson had him pinned. Jaebum hadn't been sleeping well, he just wanted more then anything to go home and collapse on his bed and sleep so he gave up. Letting his head fall back to the ground with a heavy breath. Jackson was 'nice' sure he stole all his friends and made his life hell but Jaebum was pretty sure he wasn't about to get beaten up. Just looking and his soft almost sad expression above him made that clear. 

It seemed as though Jackson wanted to go in the opposite direction of home. Jaebums mind went a mile a minute to completely blank within the movement of Jackson leaning down. He will tell himself later that the only reason he closed his eyes was because Jacksons fridge had gotten in them. That the kiss that totally wasn't a kiss only lasted half a second not 5 and that pushing him off and threatening to hit him if he ever did it again was the right thing to do. 

As if life were mocking him just as soon as the thought left his mind hours after he got home, the doorbell rang. He wasn't sure who he was expecting, maybe Jinyoung to yell at him again. Maybe Youngjae to tell him to apologise. He didn't expect Mark with a pizza at all. 

"Pizza?" Is all Mark said, face unreadable putting Jaebum a little on edge. The guy knew karate and was Jacksons best friend. He thought it probably best to go along with it, nodding and holding the door open for him. 

They made there way upstairs to Jaebums room, pizza almost gone when Mark broke the silence. 

"So..."  
"He stole my friends, and he kissed me" Jaebum cut in, realising only now how childish he sounded. The kiss part didn't seem to have as much impact as he was expecting either. Mark gave him a look as if he read his mind and agreed. Childish.  
"You know you should-"  
"Yeah."  
"Are you gonna?"  
There was a long silence, Jaebum trying to think of reasons why he shouldn't while Mark finished off the pizza.  
"There are some people in this world you just don't get along with." Jaebum finally lands on.  
"Are you sure the problem isn't that you like him?" Mark asked too casually.  
"What?" Jaebum spat out sure his word and face weren't conveying enough confusion to match how confused he was.  
"You really have to come to terms with yourself man." Mark leaned back lying down on Jaebums bed crossing his arms behind his head.  
"What are you on about?" Jaebum turned to look Mark in the eye.  
"You like boys. Youngjae told Jackson about your cuddle sessions." Jaebum internally cringed and outwardly panicked at the words Mark said.  
"It's fine man, nothing wrong with it." Mark added resting his eyes shut. Jaebum snatched his phone ready to send Youngjae a message but stopped, not really sure what to say.  
"I'm fine with myself." Jaebum says annoyed.  
"Then why haven't you told anyone?"  
"It's none of their business. Besides what does that matter to the Jackson situation, just because I like... does mean him."  
Mark let out a sigh pushing himself up on his elbows to give Jaebum a look that Jaebum just ignored.  
"Who kisses someone who clearly hates them anyway?" Jaebum continued.  
"First off from what he had told me you had been super nice and spending heaps of time together till recently. Secondly he, like everyone just thinks you're angry cause you're in the closet."  
"First I was pretending to be nice because Youngjae asked me too and second I..." Jaebum paused seeing Marks narrowed eyes.  
"You led him on?"  
"No!" Jaebum almost yelled. "I didn't know then that he was... like that."  
"His nick name is princess for fuck sake." Mark retorted.  
"If you think you don't have a problem with being gay you're crazy. Dude you can't even say the word." Mark said grabbing his keys from Jaebums desk. Jaebum didn't say anything as Mark left, just watched and then stared at the closed door after he left. 

Jaebum thought for a while, coming to the conclusion he need to fix things and that meant the finish the Jackson problem. Either kill him or apologise. Jaebum was pretty sure which he was going to pick. He waited till Friday, after practise hoping he may stay back and help again. Of course he didn't leave it to chance, shooting off a text to Mark hopeful he'd pass the message onto Jackson. Seemed like everyone told Jackson everything anyway. 

Friday all in all wasn't a bad day, grateful to Jinyoung who still sat next to him in class when there were other seats, Jaebum had checked. He even helped remind Jaebum what page they were on. 

Just like Jaebum had expect the message was in fact passed on. Jackson had stayed back to help and even gave the impression he was waiting, stay uncharacteristic silent and giving shy pressed lip smiles every now and then. In Jaebums plan this part just said 'apologise' he hadn't thought through what he was going to say yet and now was in a little panic trying to think back. All in all he had been childish and stupid about the 'stealing his friends' situation, becoming to realise he may have played a bigger part in loosing them then the blonde. 

Thinking of what Jacksons done only made it worse, because he hadn't really done anything but be nice minus a soccer ball to the head, which seemed pretty reasonable now. 

Jackson had given up on waiting for it, letting out a silent sigh and saying a sweet goodbye. Jaebums mind went into now or never but wasn't all that ready. 

"Can I walk you home?" Jaebum sputtered out. 

"Uh okay." Jackson smiled cutely. Jaebum couldn't tell if this cute act was just a thing or if he was actually like that all the time. 

The walk was pretty quiet, Jaebum stared at the ground trying to think of what exactly he needed to apologise about, deciding not to comment on the 'pretending to like him' part. Maybe Mark hadn't told him. 

"I'm sorry." Jackson broke the silence and by the looks of it Jaebum too. Who stopped in his tracks to stare.  
"For the kiss." Jackson continued.  
"Oh, that's fine." Jaebum swallowed starting to walk again eyes back on the ground.  
"I'm sorry for making you cry on your birthday." Jaebum said softly.  
"Mm.." Jackson hummed and Jaebum had the feeling Jackson didn't think Jaebum was done yet.  
"And for throwing the ball at you?" Jaebum added now looking up at him. Jackson just nodded.  
"And for pretending to be my friend when you never actually liked me?" Jackson added after a moment. There was a hint of hurt in his voice that he tried to mask with a fake laugh after.  
"Jackson." Jaebum moved to stop in front of him. "I'm really sorry for being so childish and not giving you a chance. I'm sorry for accusing you of things that you clearly aren't even capable of and I'm sorry for well everything."  
There was a long paused, Jaebum really thought he might not be forgiven.  
"Okay." Is all Jackson said after a moment.  
"So am I forgiven?"  
"Hmm."  
"What do I need to do to make it up to you?" Jaebum said with sigh, seeming to be the exact words Jackson was waiting for, a large smile forming on his face.  
"Take me to the movies tomorrow?" Jackson nearly chirped.  
"As friends?" The words rushed out of Jaebums mouth. He didn't want to be accused of 'leading him on' again.  
"Yeah." Jackson said smile unwavering.  
"Okay." Jaebum smiled. 

They continued to walk home, looking up movies that came down to a comedy and a horror. Jaebum crossed his fingers for the horror not to be picked but with Jackson continuing to accidentally make Jaebums life hell, he picked the horror. Jackson also added that he was totally over his little crush he had on Jaebum which Jaebum found a little hard to believe seeing as it was only two days ago he kissed him but he also found it hard to believe Jackson ever liked him in the first place so he didn't say anything.


	3. >3<

Mark had said yes to letting Jaebum borrow his car, Jaebum was sure it was more for Jacksons sake. It was only once he pulled up outside Jacksons home and pulled out his phone he realised he didn't have his number. He shot a quick text to Mark asking for Jacksons number and waited, looking up at the house he had seen just yesterday. It was a nice modern two story, the cream colour reminded Jaebum of Jacksons hair. Jacksons was brighter. He tapped his fingers along the steering wheel, Mark was probably busy at work, so Jaebum just hoped Jackson would look out the window. 

It was five minutes later when he gave up, getting out the car with sigh and walked up to ring to doorbell. He had thought of using the car horn but quickly dismissed it. 

Jackson opened the door quickly making Jaebum wonder if he had seen his car and just waited for Jaebum to knock, but Jaebum remembered he had assumed a lot of things about Jackson that were probably wrong so he just smiled.

Jaebum gave Jackson a once over, a black singlet paired with black ripped jeans. Jaebum felt relived he added some colour into his own outfit for the day, not wanting to look like some goth couple.   
"Ready?" Jaebum said finally seeing as Jackson hadn't said a word, he looked happy enough though.   
"Yes, let's go." Jackson said with the same excitement he had about everything. 

The line was pretty short for a Saturday, seeing how lovely it was outside, it made sense. Jaebum paid with little protest from Jackson. He could help but be curious if Jackson would have picked so many snacks, too many for one sitting, if he were paying for himself. They made there way to the theatre, Jackson always one step or skip ahead of Jaebum, picked a seat near that back. 

Jaebum was pretty happy with himself, barely flinching at the jump scares, of course on the inside his heart skipped a beat and he screamed like a girl but on the outside he looked calm and collected. Jackson on the other hand kept curling up in his seat and using Jaebums shoulder as some sort of shield. Jaebum couldn't understand why such a scardy cat picked horror in the first place.

"Do you want to leave?" Jaebum whispered in Jacksons direction, unable to actually face him, his face buried between Jaebums shoulder and chair. Jacksons head moved to look at Jaebum, but Jaebum avoided eye contact making sure his eyes didn't leave the screen, not exactly sure why. 

"No, I'm fine, everything's fine." Jackson spoke softly with a hint of slight panic. Jaebum tried to hold back a laugh, he glanced over, Jackson had straightened up putting on his 'game face' that Jaebum had seen a few times during soccer. 

"Come on, I'll buy you food." Jaebums eyes rolled over the snacks, not even bothering to think how much he had already spent, none of them had been opened. "Proper food." He saw in Jacksons eyes that he was thinking it over. Jaebum was honestly starting to worry for the guy, scared he might actually get nightmares from the stupid movie. 'Jaebum gave Jackson nightmares' was not something he wanted added to the list of why everyone hated him right now. 

"Okay." Jackson finally spoke up quickly getting up and almost running out. Jaebum quickly grabbed the two packets of snacks left behind shoving them into his pockets and making his way out. 

Jackson ending up suggesting a small restaurant close to the area. It was only after they got there that he told Jaebum it was his uncles restaurant. His uncle seemed pretty busy, the place doing fairly well for something that would be nicknamed a hole in the wall. 

After a bit of chatting and Jaebum feeling a tad guilty for never actually asking about it, Jackson had gone on about why he had moved. Jackson was definitely a talker but from what Jaebum could gather, he was given a choice, move with his parents to a place he didn't know the language or anyone or move somewhere he did know the language and Mark, so he picked to live with his uncle. Jaebum wasn't sure but it seemed the French eating snails also had something to do with his choice. 

The food ended up being really nice, nice enough Jaebum had made sure to remember the address. It was around 4:30 when Jaebum realised Jackson had been gone a while. Of course not one to time someone in the bathroom but he had to pick Mark up from work so he got up to check on him. The bathroom ended up being empty so he tried to find his uncle. He was peeking into the kitchen from a small window in the door, when he felt a hand on his shoulder, against his will his body jumped slightly. 

"Hey, I was scared you left." Jackson laughed and Jaebum just smiled back, holding back a little rant about not sneaking up on people.   
"I was actually looking for you, I have to pick up Mark soon."   
"Oh okay, let's go." Jackson smiled walking over to their table and grabbing his jacket.   
"Where did you go anyway?" Jaebum asked following after him, only realising they forgot to pay when they were already outside.   
"I was sorting the bill with my uncle." Jackson said going around to open his door that Jaebum hadn't unlocked yet. Jackson raised an eyebrow at him as he pulling on the locked door hoping he'd get the hint. Jaebum did, he'd only kept it locked thinking he'd have to run inside.  
"You didn't have to do that." Jaebum said starting the car.  
"Don't worry about it." Jackson smiled sweetly, a little confused to why it mattered. 

Jackson knew his way around Marks car probably better then Jaebum, reaching for the cord he put on some rap song that Jaebum could faintly remember hearing on the radio. Jacksons music taste wasn't all that surprising but how low his voice got while quiet successfully rapping along was. Jaebums surprise must have shown on his face since Jackson had suddenly gone silent.   
"Sorry." He said softly turning down the music.   
"What? No it's just your voice..." Jaebum said keeping his eyes on the road.   
"It's bad right? Oh god I'm so sorry you had to hear that." Jackson followed with an annoyed groan at himself.   
"No it's not bad, it's cool." Jaebum immediately cursed himself in his head for the use of the word cool. His pretty sure the only person who uses that word anymore was Bambam.   
"Really?" Jackson perked up wether the word was lame or not it worked so Jaebum relaxed a bit just smiling and nodding. Jackson turned the music back up, a different song playing now and continued to rap along. 

Jaebum had to admit that Jacksons voice was a bit of a distraction seeing as he completely forgot to drop him off home and went straight to Marks work to pick him up. They got there pretty early, able to grab a spot close to the doors. Slowly they become surrounded by cars belonging to the parents. Jaebum found it almost adorable how Jackson turned down the explicit music only when the little kids from karate class started pouring out.

"Do you ever wish you were a kid again?" Jackson asked watching the kids run along sweetly.  
"Not really." Jaebum felt like they were watching two very different scenes. Jackson seeing happy children laughing and skipping while Jaebum is pretty sure he just saw some kid wipe his nose on another kids back. "Do you ever wish you'd grow?" Jaebum smirked. Jackson turned his head in slow motion, to glare at Jaebum. The guy could go to the gym as much as he wants but Jaebum was sure he could never be intimidating so he just chuckled. 

"Are you calling me short?" Jackson asked trying to sound annoyed, his glare dropping.   
"Yeah." Jaebum smiled, reaching over to mess up his hair with his hand. Jacksons hair was surprisingly soft, especially for hair that had been bleached to get so light. Messing up his hair quickly turned to brushing it back purely for the soft feeling between his fingers. Jaebum only pulled back when Jackson cleared his throat. 

Jackson mumbled on about how everyone had left and that maybe Mark needed help packing up as he got out of the car, quickly disappearing inside the building. Jaebum just got out to rest against the car, scrolling on his phone, not sure if Mark would want to drive or not. He tried not to dwell on the fact that running his fingers through Jacksons hair was definitely a bad idea and that he had no idea how to apologise for it. 

Soon enough they both walked out, all smiles, Marks much more tired then Jacksons. After a small race to the passenger seat that Mark lost, and a comment about getting used to Jaebum being his personal chauffeur, which Jaebum quickly disagreed, they had all ended up at Marks. 

Jaebum had mercilessly described how Jackson was during the movie both he and Mark finding in hilarious how Jackson tried to defend himself. After having enough of being made fun of Jackson retorted.  
"At least I didn't almost pee myself from being touched on the shoulder at the restaurant." Jackson had risen to his feet to dramatically point at Jaebum.   
"What? That's completely different, you snuck up on me!" Jaebum was quick to point back. "And I didn't pee my pants, I barely flinched." Jaebum explained to Mark who had just nodded with a smirk that Jaebum was sure to be sarcastic like 'sure you did'.  
"Snuck up on you? I just walked over to you! And you nearly hit the roof! It's not my fault you're deaf." Jackson shot back.   
"Nope, never happened. And if I am deaf it's probably from how loud you played your music in the car!" Jaebum thought for a spilt second to blame his rapping but even though it would have been a joke he felt it might be too far. Seeing as he seemed a little self conscious about it earlier anyway. Jackson just dropped back on the couch crossing his arms with an overdramatic humph, he mumbled something under his breath that spunded a lot like 'grandpa'. 

After an uneventful Sunday Jaebum woke up Monday morning to texts from an unknown number. Honestly he had hunch on who it was. 

X: Good morning !!   
X: sit together at lunch??  
X: if you don't want to that's fine  
X: oooh it's Jackson btw  
X: Mark gave me your number is that okay? I can delete it if you want. 

Jaebum squinted, quickly typing a reply. 

JB: sure lunch 

He knew it was a bit vague, he only adding the second word at the last second. Not wanting him to think it was for the deleteing his number text. After five more minutes that only felt like three seconds Jaebums phone lit up with a response from Jackson. Jaebum didn't want to reply to quickly so he ignored it and went ahead and got ready for school. 

"So how was the movies?" Jinyoung beamed at Jaebum after the class had settled.   
"Fine I guess?" Jaebum responded, something in Jinyoungs voice making him feel uneasy but they hadn't properly talked in ages so Jaebum ignored it. "How did you know about that anyway?" Jaebum asked casually, focusing on copying notes.   
"Jackson told me. Does this mean you two are a thing now?" Jinyoung asked still smiling to wide for Jaebums liking.   
"What?" Jaebums voice a little too harsh. He took a quick breath not wanting their first time talking again to turn into a fight. "No, we're just..." Jaebum knew the pause wasn't going to help his case but he wasn't sure if he could call Jackson a friend yet. If half a movie and some food was all it took but Jackson did ask to sit together at lunch so maybe. "Friends." Jaebum finished with a nod.   
"But you went to the movies then dinner-" Jinyoung said confused.  
"Lunch." Jaebum corrected still trying to keep his voice soft and casual.   
"It still sounds like a date to me. If this is about you being-"   
"It's not." Jaebum cut in again his voice breaking only a little. "And it wasn't a date." Jaebum ignored that fact that Jinyoung somehow knew about him but if Mark had figured it out it wouldn't be hard for Jinyoung too.   
"Have you told him that?" Jinyoung asked his face stiff, slightly judgemental and Marks words about leading him on came rushing back. Jaebum cleared his throat and straightened his back a bit to face Jinyoung.   
"I asked him what I could do to make it up to him, he said movies, I asked as friends, he said yes." Jaebum explain clearly. "His the one who said it wasn't, so if his saying different now please tell me."   
"No, he didn't, I just... never mind." Jinyoung sighed going back to his work. 

Jaebum could tell he seemed disappointed but Jaebum couldn't for the life of him think why. Why would Jinyoung want it to be a date? Why would anyone want that? If they are really Jacksons friend don't they think he can do better then the guy who has been awful to him pretty much since he met him? 

When lunch rolled around he sat at his usual table, Jackson to his right, Jinyoung to his left and Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom around the rest. It felt like everything had gone back to normal, now if only he could stop the looks his friends gave him and Jackson everything would be perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next stop bbam town then back on the jackbum track shortly after don't you worry. Haha


	4. >4<

Jaebums life seemed to go back to normal. Soon enough there were no more glares or even sly glances. It was easier this time to be Jacksons friend not feeling the need to be fake polite. He didn't hold back his own opinions and defended himself from Jacksons teasing even teasing the other back a few times but never going too far to upset him and by default everyone else. There was a small problem with a rumour about Jaebum and Jackson dating that annoyed him but there was also an upside to it. 

The rumour spread quiet wide, yet not one person had a negative thing to say about it. Sure Jaebum would like to pride himself on not caring what others thought, say that being judged wasn't a huge reason to him not 'coming out' but that would be a lie.

Putting the discovery that he went to a pretty accepting school aside he still tried to put an end to the rumour about him dating Jackson any way he could. Starting with just saying no to anyone who asked, he made sure to keep some distance between himself and Jackson and he also tried to show a bit more affection to his friends the same way Jackson did to him. Okay Jaebum could probably never be as friendly as Jackson but small things should be enough. Jinyoung hated overly friendly interactions and Jaebum was still holding a tiny grudge on Youngjae for telling about the cuddle thing so he landed on Bambam. 

Bambam was easy enough to get along with. He always seemed in a good mood and nice enough to laugh at Jaebums terrible jokes. It felt weird though how the friendship almost seemed new, not just with Bambam. Having Jackson at his table, constantly talking and asking questions Jaebum never had thought to. He found himself learning more about his close friends, things he probably should have already known, he also felt a tad accomplished when Jackson would ask something he did know. 

He did know Yugyeom was in dance class but didn't know he had won two awards for dancing, he knew Bambam was into fashion but wasn't aware he was also into film, which was odd since Jaebum was too. He knew Youngjae could sing but wasn't aware he planned to actually make a career out of it. The most shocking though was Jinyoung wanting to act. His best and closest friend wanted an acting career and Jaebum hadn't had a clue. He felt a bit better when he revealed he had a small part in a commercial and nobody else knew about it either. 

After the Friday night game that the team had won, Jaebum offered to buy pizza at the local Pizza joint. Not having a job meant he had to get money from his parents earlier so he would have offered even if they lost but he kept that to himself. After giving the money to trustful Youngjae to order he slid into the booth getting a seat beside the window and across from Jinyoung who was too busy getting congratulated by the teammates at the booth behind him to notice. Jinyoung had played well tonight, he hard carried the team if you will. 

Jaebum gave Bambam a thankful smile as he slipped in next to him before Jackson could. Earlier in the change rooms Jackson had given Jaebum a congratulatory kiss on the cheek, he did the same with Jinyoung and Youngjae but Jaebum still wanted to keep his distance. Jaebum would admit himself he was being a little too careful with Jackson, always aware how close or far away he was. 

The three others eventually filled up the booth, Youngjae next to Jinyoung then Jackson beside him and of course Yugyeom sat next to Bambam. The whole restaurant filled with the sound of the boys chatting and some yelling for whatever reason. Jaebum just let it slide, it was nice seeing everyone so happy. Readjusting in his seat he placed an arm out stretched along the back of the booth while he used his other hand to shoved half a pizza slice in his mouth. Jinyoung shot him a disapproving look but Jaebum wasn't in the mood to be lectured on his table manners so he ignored it. 

Jaebum laughed along happily till he felt something on his thigh. He looked down to see Bambams hand then to Bambam to see if he was just trying to get his attention. He was still pretty deep in conversation with Youngjae and Yugyeom. Jackson on the other hand was on his knees leaning over the booth to get a peace of pizza from the other table. 

Jaebums whole body stiffened and he questioned if that was normal. If everyone reacted so uncomfortably to a hand on their thigh. It wasn't something he has never experienced before but whenever Jackson had done it, it wasn't so close. Jaebum stayed completely still, a little afraid to move. He just stared at the pizza on the table. He had thought it over and was sure Bambam meant nothing by it but still it was visibly obvious how much he relaxed once the hand slipped away. Luckily no one seemed to notice as Jaebum checked, finally able to make eye contact again. 

Jaebum couldn't help but watch as Bambam slipped out of the booth to go talk to whoever, curiosity peeking a little. It was Jacksons voice that broke him out of whatever daze he was in.  
"Hey." Jackson called out towards Jaebum who quickly looked at him hoping he didn't look as guilty as he felt. It took him a moment before realising Jackson wasn't actually looking at him but over his shoulder and out the window. Jaebum followed his sight seeing Marks car parked in the parking spot right near the window. When he turned back Jackson was gone. 

He didn't have to turn his head to see them to know Jackson yell 'hey' was to Mark but did turn his head just in time to see Jackson jump into the older boys arms. Mark wasn't ready, Jacksons feet were back on the ground in seconds but their arms still tightly wrapped around each other in a close hug. Jaebum looked away feeling uncomfortable , like he was spying on some private moment. 

There was a very noticeable volume difference from when Jackson wasn't at the table to when he returned, sitting back next to Youngjae while Mark slid in next to Jaebum. Mark took a slice, bit down and scrunched his nose up in disgust before placing the pizza back on the tray. 

"So how was it?" Mark asked mouth still full. Jackson opened his mouth to reply but was cut off. 

"You work here right? Why don't you get your own free pizza and leave ours alone?" Jinyoung said obviously unimpressed.  
"Jeez sorry." Mark said mouth still working on not spitting out what was in his mouth with hands up in the air. This only seemed to make things worse. 

"Jinyoung played really well!" Jackson spoke up over the awkward silence and intense eye contact that followed. Probably hoping giving Jinyoung a compliment would improve his mood. "You should have come watched, Jinyoung tripped a guy and Jaebum almost got knocked out by a ball to the head."  
"A ball you kicked by the way" Youngjae snorted.  
"Yeah, you really need to stop hitting me in the head with your balls." Jaebums eyebrows furrowed as Jinyoungs widened, his hand coming up to cover his mouth. Jaebum never regretted a sentence more in his life. Mark was giggling, Jackson had turned slightly pink and Jaebum really wished Mark wasn't blocking Jaebum from an easy escape. At least Jinyoung was happy again. 

Everyone was waiting outside, in separate groups waiting for there lifts. The ones with their own ride having already left. Jackson, Jinyoung and Jaebum were waiting for Mark to get back from his last delivery for the night while Youngjae, Bambam and Yugyeom were waiting on Yugyeoms mum. Just as she pulled up Jaebum was surprised by Bambam wrapping his arms around his neck in a tight hug. It had been cold outside and though Jaebum did he best not to show it he welcome the warmth, hugging Bambam back. It's wasn't long though before he pulled back saying goodbye to everyone with a wave. 

As soon as Mark pulled up, Jackson bolted yelling shotgun, Jaebum couldn't help but laugh, it was cute. As he started to stroll over he felt Jinyoung pull on his arm softly.  
"Be careful of Bambam." Jinyoung said voice so hushed Jaebum wondered if he had heard correctly. 

'Be careful of Bambam' Jinyoungs words rung in the back of his head as Bambams arms were once again wrapped around his neck. Bambams fingers sliding through his hair and his mouth making it very hard for Jaebum to focus. Jaebum had found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place, or more literally a brick wall and Bambam. 

Completely by choice, Jaebum was in fact a virgin, virgins get hornier easier right? Which leads to low self control? Jaebum tried to peace together the excuse he was going to give Jinyoung as his hands made their way up the other boys shirt. If only they were at a party, he could have blamed the alcohol but instead they were both completely sober and at school, well more so behind the school. Jaebum wondered if Jinyoung would believe that he had no clue of Bambams intentions when he brought him out there.

Jaebum quickly forgot about Jinyoung when Bambam reached behind pulling Jaebums hand down his back. Jaebum went along with it sliding his hand into the back of his pants but was a little confused on what Bambam wanted so he settled on just grabbing his ass and pressing him closer. He may be a virgin but he did have access to the internet and knew they were missing something for him to do anything else, not that he had the room either. Bambams pants were extremely tight, to the point Jaebum worried he may start to lose circulation in his hand. 

When the bell finally rang for last period Jaebum felt kind of relieved. Able to catch his breath as Bambam pulled away.  
"Come to mine after school?" Jaebum could almost call his voice cute but his hooded eyes and heavyish breath made that impossible. A part of him, a very specific part of him wanted to say yes but he felt like he needed to know what Jinyoung had meant first. Probably should have found out beforehand. Plus again Jaebum was a virgin, it wasn't like he wanted lit candles and rose pedals but maybe some sort of relationship with the person would be nice. 

"Uhh I don't think I can today." Jaebum said acting disappointed, quickly trying to think up an excuse but luckily enough Bambam didn't ask, didn't even pout or seem to care all that much, he barely shrugged. As soon as he left Jaebum got out his phone deciding to head home rather than class. No way he'd be able to pay attention or sit still. 

JB:  
Hey  
why do I have to be careful of Bambam? 

He sent a quick text on his walk home not expecting a reply for a while.

JY:  
Cause i think he likes you or at least wants to get with you and you and him together would be bad. 

JB:  
Why

It was after he had made it home and got out of the extra long shower when he saw a reply waiting for him. 

JY:  
Because Jackson still likes you, and don't ask me why, I have no idea why our friends have such bad taste lol

Jackson and Bambam are pretty close, so just don't. 

JB: first off fuck you too, second he already said he didn't anymore and third I don't see why I have to be alone just because he has a crush?

JY:  
Not telling you to be alone just don't get with his friends, pretty simple how not to be a dick stuff. 

Now stop texting me I'm in class and you should be too. 

Jaebum didn't want to reply not wanting to out himself for skipping but a sudden thought struck him.

JB:  
If they're so close and Jackson likes me why would Bambam try? 

JY:  
Well it's not like his telling people, and Bambam probably just hasn't noticed just give it time 

Or not I'm honestly not going to tell you how to live your life.

JB:  
really?? Since when? Lol

JY:  
Shut up lol it's not like you listen anyway.


	5. (A)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Conversations outside of Jaebum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't proof read sorry let me know if there are spelling mistakes.
> 
> These have happened over the last chapters, hopefully I've made it obvious of about when they happened. 
> 
> :)

"Jinyoung!" Jackson called out to his new friend. "Sit next to me!"  
Jinyoung didn't give it much thought abandoning his usual seat that sat next to no one important for the seat next to Jacksons.  
"Hi Princess." Jinyoung smiled as he took his seat.  
"Can I ask you something? It's about that guy you sit with at lunch." Jackson said softly but quickly since the class had quieted down.  
"The one who is always staring at you? Yeah sure." Jinyoung got out his books making no comment on how Jackson had neglected to. They were new friends, new friends don't get lectured.  
"Is he... by any chance... um..."  
"Well and truly in the closet, yes." Jinyoung nodded. He didn't think that maybe outing his friend like that could be rude, just seemed to be common knowledge at this point. Jackson seemed to be deep in thought but something in his eyes looked like trouble to Jinyoung.  
"Jaebums my best friend but trust me when I say you don't want to get involved in that mess." Jinyoung looked Jackson in the eye to show he was serious. Jacksons brows furrowed in response.  
"Wow, you're a nice best friend." Jackson laughed but stopped when he saw his comment had struck a nerve. He opened his mouth to apologise but was cut off.  
"You know what, maybe your just the person he needs to give him a push." Jinyoung put on a smile. "Go for it." He honestly meant no ill intent he really liked Jackson but a part of him felt like he just told Jackson to go jump. (Off somewhere high)

\----------

"Jaebum, Gay? Thought so." Mark said unable to slide any further into his couch.  
"Yep. Jinyoung said his in the closet like apparently he used to get super defensive about it but that was a while ago and Youngjae said his pretty sure he used to like him. Apparently when they were alone he'd get super cuddly. Not that his done that recently." Jackson said not holding back his smile.  
"But why Jaebum? Are there not any other gay guys at your school?"  
"Plenty actually." Jackson mumbled. "I don't know okay his got really nice eyes, his like kind of mysterious but also totally obvious. His super thoughtful of his friends, family too, probably and his smile is just... Oh and!" Jackson jumped up off the floor to kneel next to the couch.  
"Lately his been really nice, like laughing at all my jokes and-"  
"Just because someone's nice doesn't necessarily mean they like you back." Mark cut in. He knew Jaebum pretty well and Jackson was starting to worry him a little.  
"He let's me call him bummie." Jackson continued this time softly. Mark didn't like the way his best friends face had dropped.  
"Bummie huh?" Mark commented acting a little impressed. In hindsight it was probably a bad idea to humour him but a sad or disappointed Jackson was one of the worst things in the world to Mark.  
"Yeah. I saw someone else use it..." his voice slowly started picking up again. "... and Jaebum gave him this look, right, you know in movies when the bad guy makes the other guys head explode it was like that like Jaebum was trying to mentally explode his head." Jackson laughed. " but when I said it he smiled." Mark saw the way for a split second Jackson looked shy even though he quickly covered it up with a huge smile.  
"I called him bummie once, he threw the controller at my head." Mark winced remembering the pain.  
"So... maybe?"  
"Maybe?" 

\----------

"So he said yes?" Youngjae smiled excitedly as Jackson nodded.  
"Yep! The plan is set." Jackson smirked.  
"So what is the plan? Get yourself drunk, confess then what?" Youngjae asked fidgeting in his seat happily.  
"Run?" Jackson laughed. "I don't know. I'm scared." Jackson collapsed on the table with a groan.  
"What's the worst that could happen? It'll be fine."  
"What if you and Jinyoung are wrong and he doesn't like me back?" Jackson pouted.  
"We know him better then he knows himself, we're pretty sure he likes you, it's just him admitting it that might be difficult."  
Jackson continued to pout in response but it was hard to stay gloomy when the sunshine that is Youngjae is smiling at him.

\----------

"He hates me." Jackson groaned into his coffee cup. He knew water would be better for his hangover but he wanted something warm.  
"What? If anything you should hate him." Mark retorted.  
"But he thinks I stole his friends and I just made that worse by crying to them, did you see Jinyoungs face? It was scary." Jackson continued to whine.  
"You didn't steal his friends Jackson, you did nothing wrong okay?" Mark leant across the counter making sure Jackson understood.  
"Okay." Jackson mumbled head hurting to much to argue anyway. 

\----------

Mark:  
Hey did you actually tell Jaebum to pretend to be nice to Jackson?

YJ:  
No? I think I just said stop being a dick

\----------

"So how was... whatever today was?" Mark asked taking the mats out of Jacksons hands and heaving them onto the tall stack.  
"Good." Jackson accidentally cooed to which Mark gave a disapproving look.  
"Jackson." Mark sighed. "We talked about this. You said you were over it." Mark reminded him.  
"Yeah, sure." Jackson said turning around quickly heading over to the door.  
"Jackson."  
"No seriously, just glad we can be friends I swear." Jackson said straight faced. Mark knew Jackson wasn't telling the truth.  
"The guy needs time or whatever don't waste your time waiting around for something that might not happen." Mark said carefully.  
"I know, I know." Jackson said smiling but for some reason Mark didn't believe him but going on about it wasn't going to help either.

\----------

"You kissed?" Jackson asked eyes wide sipping on his ice chocolate drink.  
"Yeah, but ever since his been distant and I don't know what I did."  
"Distant?"  
"Yeah like today his texted me..." Bambam pulled out his phone to check. "Six times and five of those were just one word replies." Bambam held out his phone to show Jackson. "See, it's either 'aww' 'cute' or 'haha."  
"Maybe his not a big texter?" Jackson offered trying his best to stay indifferent.  
"No but he is, I've seen his messages, he sends Jinyoung paragraphs."  
"You've seen his messages?" Jackson tried not to choke on his drink.  
"Yeah when I borrowed his phone at lunch. I wanted to check, you know. See if he's talking to someone else or something." Bambam explained as if it was totally normal.  
"Was he?"  
"Nope just normal stuff. He did check his phone first though but I couldn't tell if he deleted anything. Though I did noticed he never uses emojis but he did with me yesterday so that's something right? Oh god I sound crazy."  
"Yeah." Jackson responded a little too quickly earning a shoulder jab from Bambam.


	6. >5<

"You what?" Jinyoung asked in disbelief. Jaebum had put off telling him about Bambam for almost a whole week. He wasn't sure he ever wanted to tell him hoping it would all just go away but it didn't. 

He tried to distance himself from both Bambam and Jackson which was way harder then he originally thought. Bambam texted him everyday sometimes just memes. The cute picture thrown in here and there made it clear to Jaebum that they can't just go back to being friends, not without some sort of talk that Jaebum was desperately avoiding.

Jackson on the other hand hadn't changed at all. He was just as friendly as usual to Jaebum and everyone else. If he had a crush on Jaebum then going by how he treated him he also had half a dozen crushes on the soccer team alone, something that Jaebum highly doubted. 

Sitting with the two at lunch was so awkward for Jaebum, feelings of guilt poking at him at random moments. The two got along fine, really well actually but Jaebum always felt unsure on what to say to either of them when the other was there. Lucky enough it seemed Bambam hadn't told anyone but Jaebum was sure it was only a matter of time. Everything comes out eventually. 

He couldn't deal with the awkwardness anymore, the ugly feeling like he was two timing them both when he really wasn't. He finally gave in and asked Jinyoung for advice. After informing Jaebum that his stupid and shouldn't make a habit of thinking with his 'little' head to which Jaebum retorted something about not being little Jinyoung let out a sigh. 

"So what do I do?" Jaebum asked like the lost puppy he was.  
"Well, do you actually like Bambam?" Jinyoung asked sincerely. Jaebum had to think about it. He had always found him somewhat attractive but never liked him in that way. The idea of liking someone, anyone was still confusing to Jaebum he had a habit of taking feelings and burying them so deep even he couldn't reach. He did let himself slip with one but that went no where. Now that he was practically out, though unsure with how it happened but pleased with subtleness of it. He could maybe date someone now. 

"No I don't think I do." Jaebum responded honestly mind a little elsewhere. "Isn't it a bit soon anyway?" In that moment It seemed to hit both of them that they never really spoke about it. Jaebum being gay was just a thing now. It was apparent it wasn't much of a surprise but still. Jinyoung seemed to tense up his mind racing to say something just unsure of what. He opened his mouth, closed it again, eyebrows furrowed then relaxed.  
"Yeah, too soon." He spoke softly with a gentle smile. Jaebum felt like his whole world relaxed with the simple words. "I can talk to Bambam if you like." Jinyoung added and Jaebum jumped at the chance nodding quickly. 

"But you have to talk to Jackson and apologise." Jinyoung said sternly but still seemed soft with the same gentle smile.  
"Apologise?" Jaebum asked confused and a little taken aback, he thought he had already done that.  
"You've been very hot and cold with him." Jinyoung said like it was obvious but Jaebum was still confused so he elaborated.  
"You went from staring at him to glaring then smiling and being sweet to only turn around and say that was fake and when you had the chance to fix it and be friends on you ran your fingers through his hair-" Jaebum liked to pretend he forgot about that and kind of regretted telling Jinyoung. "Then kissed another guy and well..."  
"Okay." Jaebum cut in. "I'll apologise again." 

"Don't worry boys aren't that hard." Jinyoung smiled patting Jaebum on the shoulder. It took him a moment before looking up, eyes narrowing in on Jinyoung.  
"You?" Jaebum asked, he could feel his heart start to race at the sudden thought.  
"What? It's not like it was a secret." Jinyoung laughed.  
"If it wasn't a secret why didn't I know?" Jaebums voice started to rise and Jinyoungs smile faded.  
"You never asked." Jinyoung shrugged.  
"Never asked?" Jaebum scoffed. "Why didn't you tell me? Did you ever think that could have helped? Knowing someone was going through the same thing?"  
"But it wasn't really the same thing. Everyone goes through it differently."  
"Fuck that." Jaebum was on his feet his heart racing to fast for him to just sit still.  
"Did finding out about Bambam help you?" Jinyoung asked rhetorically.  
"Bambams not my best friend." Jaebum snapped. "I can't believe you didn't tell me."  
"Like I said it's not a secret maybe it you actually paid attention." Jinyoung got up himself walking over to Jaebums bedroom door.  
"Paid attention? Paid attention to what? What was I supposed to notice?" Jaebum barked back.  
"I've literally talked to you about guys I've gone out with but you were too busy wallowing to notice they weren't just friends." Jinyoung crossed his arms over his chest while Jaebum tried to think back.  
"Also do you remember what you've said about people? You called Jackson 'his sort' and commented that Bambam was just going through a rebellious phase and would be back to "normal" in a month."  
"So you admit you were keeping it from me!" Jaebum snapped.  
"No, but even if I were you kept it from me too."  
"But you knew."  
"Because I paid attention."  
"Oh what you want to turn this into some 'whose the better friend crap'. Fine. You win. Get out." 

 

It had been over an hour since Jinyoung had left but Jaebum could still hear the sound of his door slamming ringing in his ears. He hadn't been able to sit down or calm down. Apart of him was a afraid if he stopped being mad he'd cry so he kept moving. His room quickly became to small and he decided to go for a walk. The cool air felt nice against his skin. His steps only slowing to cross roads and stopping at Jacksons door. 

He knew why he came here, if anyone could help him feel better it was Jackson, wether it was from the ego boost that he may like him or just because Jackson made everyone happy it didn't matter right now. It was around 7:30 and Jaebum had completely forgotten that parents existed or in this case uncles only to be promptly reminded by the sight of Jacksons uncle answering the door.  
"Hey can I see Jackson please?" Jaebum put on his most polite voice and hoped he didn't look as crazy as he felt. The cool air now causing him to shake a slightly.  
"Oh you're that guy who came into the resturant." Spoke nicely, Jaebum was glad there was no sighs of annoyance.  
"Yeah, Jaebum" He put out his hand not entirely sure if the situation called for it.  
"Yes, of course, come in." Jacksons uncle smiled letting Jaebum in, he quickly pointed him in the direction of Jacksons room before disappearing into another part of the house.

It wasn't until he reached Jacksons door that he started to feel nervous, holding his breath a little after knocking.  
"Come in." Jaebum heard the familiar voice call out so he did, slowly opening the door he immediately saw Jackson, well his back, sitting at a desk on the computer.  
"Hey." He spoke softly closing the door behind him. The chair spun around so fast Jackson almost fell off.  
"Hey." Jackson responded looking around Jaebum a bit as if his surroundings held the answer to why he were here.  
"How are you?" Jaebum tried to sound casual as he walked over sitting down on Jacksons bed. He ignored Jacksons questioning expression by simply not looking at him. 

His eyes instead took in his bedroom. It was almost the exact opposite of his own. A bright blue colour on the walls, shelves with trophies, photos and little collectable toys and a few posters.

"Good thank you, how are you?" He asked awkwardly fiddling with the sleeves of his over sized worn jumper. Jaebum just let out a groan before moving to lay down on Jacksons bed burying his face in the pillow. Jacksons bed was super comfortable, Jaebum didn't want to move. 

"What's wrong?" A wary tinge to his voice.  
"Did you know Jinyoung was gay?" Jaebum quickly popped his head up.  
"You didn't?" Jackson was genuinely surprised, Jaebum still couldn't stay still he rolled around a little till he gave up and ended up on his back. 

"I'm a crappy friend hey." Jaebum took Jacksons silence as he agreed. After a moment Jaebum jumped up sitting back in the edge. He just found out that he doesn't pay enough attention and was worried he was still doing it.  
"Do you want me to leave?" He was a little hesitant, afraid he'd say yes. 

"No, it's just random." Jacksons voice seemed calm. Jaebum just smiled and pointed to the bed.  
"Can I?"  
"Sure."  
Jaebum quickly layed back down getting comfortable.  
"Your bed is so nice." He mumbled into the pillow.  
"Mm."  
"Can you talk please." He softly groaned.  
"Talk?" Jackson was still very confused.  
"Yeah, talk. Ramble on about something or even sing along to some music." 

After a moment he heard music playing, he turned on his side to see Jackson back at his computer but not singing along.  
"Hey, is there any chance I could stay here tonight?"

"Can I ask, why are you here and like not Bambams or something?" He asked not taking his eyes off the screen something on his face suggested to Jaebum that he knew about the kiss.  
"I don't even know where he lives." Jaebum blurted out quietly more so in self realisation. 

"I can give you the address if you want." Offered an unflinching Jackson.  
"No that's fine, unless you want me to leave?"  
"Oh it's just I thought you and Bambam were-"  
"Nothing." Jaebum cut in his voice coming off too snappy for his liking. "We're just friends." He added more casually.  
"But-"  
"No, okay I know. I'll talk to him soon can we just not talk about it now. Already upset about Jinyoung and I'm not great at multitasking." A grumble bubbled in his chest, rolling over to face the wall. After another short silence Jaebum felt the need to talk again rolling over and sitting up.

"Do you want me to go? You can tell me Ill just go to Youngjaes or something."  
"No." Jackson answered quickly, quick enough to put Jaebum at ease even enough to put a smile on his face. 

"Cool." Smiling he layed back down. He looked to Jackson who was finally looking back and patted the bed next to him. Jackson raised an eyebrow, he didn't have to say anything. "Good point." Jaebum responded pulling back his arm. 

"There's a spare room across the hall you can stay in." Jackson cracked his first smile of the night even though it was small Jaebum was happy to see it.  
"Is it as comfy as yours?" Jacksons lack of response made it clear that no, it wasn't as comfy. 

"Maybe." Jackson offered with a smile and a shrug.  
"Can't I stay in your bed?" Jaebum wasn't the type to plead so instead he pouted. Pushing out his lip as far as he could. Jacksons eyes widened before he bursts out laughing.  
"What?" Jaebum asked with a chuckle due to the others laughter being contagious.  
"Oh god, don't do that." He was still laughing but Jaebum wasn't going to stop. He finally had done something to make him laugh of course he wasn't going to stop. Jaebum just pouted harder crawling out of bed to get into Jacksons sight since the other was trying so hard to look away.  
"Am I not cute?" Jaebum asked trying to sound cute from the floor in front of Jacksons chair moving around to get in the others face.  
"No!" Jackson almost yelled arms coming up to shield his eyes. "Not at all." Jackson had to take a deep breath from laughing. Jaebum found it hard to be offended when Jackson was still smiling so much. 

Jaebum decided to make it worse resting his elbows on Jacksons thighs and cradling his chin in his palms he puffed out his cheeks.  
"Come on, im adorable." He said to get Jacksons attention. One look and Jackson was cringing and laughing again. 

"Fine you can have my bed, just stop that. You're going to give me nightmares." Jaebum just smiled triumphantly dropping his hands. He stayed there a moment, sitting on the floor while his upper body was practically in Jacksons lap looking up at him. It seemed he had stayed there a moment too long when Jackson pulled a slightly uncomfortable face that had Jaebum back on his feet and in Jacksons bed in seconds. 

This time he pulled up the blanket and got in under it, bringing it up to cover his face, afraid it was as pink as he felt it was. After a small silence the music shut off and Jackson said a quiet goodnight. When Jaebum heard the door open he jumped. 

"I didn't realise me staying here meant you had to sleep there." He said making his way to Jackson successfully stopping him in the doorway. 

"It's fine, I don't mind." Jacksons smile was soft and sleepy eyes almost falling shut. He looked so adorable Jaebum forgot what he was talking about for a moment.  
"No, I'll sleep in the spare room." Jaebum nodded but Jackson was still in his way.  
"But I said you could before and..." Jackson was too sleepy to think.  
"Don't argue with me, I'm taller." Jaebum smiled using the only thing he had over the other. "Not that many arnt." He chuckled as Jackson glared. 

"Shut up," Jackson groaned. "We both know I could beat you up."  
"Yeah, but we both know you wouldn't" Jaebum smirk quickly wiped away by the way Jacksons face dropped.  
"Fine." Jackson muttered walking over and disappearing into his bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I keep feeling like I should let you know I'm a terrible write but then like your here so you probably just can see for yourself.  
> If I don't reply to comments it's because my shy and scared.  
> Thanks to anyone who likes this story x


	7. >6<

Jaebum woke up to the faintly familiar voice of Jacksons uncle. It took him a moment, forcibly blinking his eyes awake, to figure out what he had said.  
"Jackson has fencing so you'll need to be up in ten minutes if you would like a lift home."  
Jaebum pushed himself up luckily catching him before he had fully closed the door.  
"Can I come?" His rough morning voice made him sound way too demanding. He wanted to hit his head against a wall for making such a bad impression. Quickly he coughed and rubbed his throats hoping he'd understand.  
"You will have to ask Jackson." Jacksons uncle said with a polite smile before closing the door. 

Jaebum still had to apologise to Jackson and do something, not exactly sure what, to get rid of the guilt from last night. He couldn't believe he actually teased Jackson for liking him. Of course he could have said that the reason he knew Jackson wouldn't hurt him was because Jackson wouldn't hurt anyone but he thought it may be a bit late for that.

He wanted to stay and make it up to him last night but decided against it. It was the weekend and he would surely do it in the morning. He wasn't expecting fencing. 

Just like at school, Jackson had a way of grabbing everyone's attention at fencing, which was great for the random guy sitting in the corner on his phone, wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Jaebum could only pray he didn't smell. This time though it wasn't Jacksons personality getting everyone's attention, he was actually just really great at fencing from what Jaebum could tell. 

He wondered why he wasn't called prince instead, he was practically an expert sword fighter, or long thin pointy stick fighter. Jaebum still had no idea how anything worked but Jackson seemed to be winning so it was entertaining to watch. He tried not to take it personally when Jackson didn't spare a glance in his direction even when he had his hands free. 

Jaebum left his phone on his and Jinyoungs last conversation more than once. He was his best friend for so long there was no way Jaebum wasn't going to let that end, but one thing at a time and he wasn't really sure what to say yet.

After fencing finished, Jaebums offer to help pack up was declined but his offer for coffee wasn't. It even earned him what he was sure was the first real smile of the day from Jackson to himself. Though it was probably more for the prospect of a hot chocolate than for going with Jaebum.

Jaebum made sure to beat Jackson to choosing a table, walking ahead and sitting at the small table in the back corner with the worst lighting. If tables in a coffee shop were people this spot was Jaebum and the one in the middle with the purple little flowers was Jackson. 

"So you had no clue he was gay?" Jackson leant over his drink to ask. From the time they ordered to the time they got their drinks the place had filled out.  
"Well it's not like he said anything." Jaebum defended. Jacksons eyes couldn't stay still like he was trying to figure something out.  
"I'm pretty sure he was hooking up with a guy at my party."  
"Really?" Jaebum couldn't believe he could have missed something like that.  
"Yeah, I remember now." Jacksons face lit up. "Because Mark started throwing ice cubes at them and telling them to cool down." He did his best to hold back a giggle.  
"What is up with those two anyway." Jaebum asked more so to change to the topic of how clueless he had been.  
"I think it's sexual tension." Jackson responded defeating the the purpose of a changed subject.  
"Marks gay too?" He nearly shouted in surprise and Jackson just laughed.  
"Bi, but he leans more so to girls so not many people know." Jaebum couldn't tell if that was the truth or if Jackson was just being nice but either way he didn't dwell.  
"Well why don't they just..." he made a small wave with his hand looking to a confused Jackson like it was obvious what he meant. It took Jackson a moment but a small nod was enough for Jaebum to stop himself before making any more hand gestures.  
"Well, apparently, you said no." Jackson spoke softly, cautiously only making brief eye contact.  
"What? No I didn't."  
"You told Mark to back off Jinyoung." Jackson was still soft and something about it made it impossible for Jaebum to get mad, even at such stupid accusations.  
"How could I, when I didn't even know, about either of them?" Jaebum was pleased with the way Jacksons eyebrows furrowed knowing he was right.  
"But Mark said... maybe he missed interpreted."  
"Yeah, I think i did tell him to lay off but I meant with the teasing not... that." 

They both sat quietly for a while, Jaebum just watching as Jackson seemed lost in thought.

"So plans after high school?" Jaebum was curious how long Jackson could stand sitting in silence, apparently less then five minutes.  
"Uni probably." He shrugged.  
"Probably? Does living in the present and thinking of the future count as multitasking?" Jackson teased.  
"No, Ill probably end up in uni doing whatever course my dad tells me to." Jaebum shrugged again uncaring. "What about you?"  
"Either fencing couch or personal trainer or something in the gym. Or a physical therapist, what was that?"  
"What was what?"  
"That look you just gave me."  
"Nothing, I didn't give you a look."  
"Yes you did." Jackson protested and Jaebum sighed.  
"You'd just fit in at a gym is all."  
"My body is a temple." Jackson agreed confidently before laughing it off.  
"Free to anyone who wants to enter." Jaebum joked smirking.  
"Excuse me!" He yelled hitting the table, eyes wide and slightly mortified.  
"I was just kidding, I know you're not like that, well at least I think you're not." Jaebum didn't think he knew Jackson well enough to really say.  
"I'm not! Thank you very much. What about you huh? Kissing boys and putting your hand down there pa-."  
"Hey, hey can we not talk about that." Jaebum could feel his face warming, embarrassed, he didn't know he knew that part. "It was the first time I..." he wasn't ready to admit it was his first kiss. "Kissed someone I didn't like properly."  
"Properly?"  
"Well I like Bambam I just don't... like like him."  
"Ahh like like." Jackson nodded in understanding.  
"What about you? Have you..."  
"Nope, I don't think so. I usually like the guy I kiss."  
Jaebum felt his face warm up again in sudden realisation, Bambam wasn't his first kiss. He couldn't believe he actually forgot, his first kiss, with Jackson didn't leave his mind for days after it happened. He nodded hanging his head and looking to the right, sure his face was to pink to show right now. 

"Usually?" Jaebum said a little too late.  
"What?"  
"You said usually..." Jaebum couldn't help but wonder if that meant him, it seemed pretty clear that Jackson liked him at that point but a small part of him couldn't help but question it or need to know. 

"Well unless it's like a mutual understanding thing." Jaebum was too busy trying to figure out what that meant he missed the way Jackson distanced himself, sitting back in his chair.  
"Mutual understanding? For kissing?" Jaebum didn't get it.  
"Well not just... kissing." Jaebum just stared, eyebrows raised. "I've had a fuck buddy before." Jackson admitted. Jaebums face didn't flinch just staring ahead still, before ever so slowly nodding and facing away again.  
"It's totally normal, almost everyone I know has had one. We're young and hormonal and it's better then just going out and... why do I feel the need to explain myself..."  
Jaebum looked back up at Jackson noticing the way his voice changed from his usual light rambling tone to a softer more annoyed one.  
"What? You don't." Jaebum put up his hands a little frantically feeling bad. "That's cool, totally normal." He put on his nicest smile aside from the slight jab he just made at himself.  
"Plus its only one person that's not bad right." Jaebum really didn't like the way Jackson still felt the need to explain himself, he didn't mean to make him feel that way at all.  
"Of course not." Jaebum continued to smile even trying a friendly laugh to lighten the mood. "Not really my business anyway." 

"So got any advice on the Bambam situation?" Jaebum was desperate for a change of subject. It seemed to work, Jacksons expression changed from the previous unreadable one to a thoughtful one.  
"Tell him you just want to be friends?" Jackson offered with a shrug.  
"Can I do it over text?"  
"No." 

"Come with me?"  
"Hell no."  
"Fine."

A few hours later, after Jaebum had got home, showered and put on an old shirt and slacks with the idea of working out in mind. Something about watching Jackson fence made Jaebum want to workout. As much as he'd like to think he had stopped comparing, he just really wanted to at least beat the guy in arm wrestle once. 

Instead of going downstairs for said workout he found himself laying on his bed staring at the ceiling wondering how the hell he ended up with a date with Jackson next weekend. He tried to think how the conversation lead the way it did. Something about Jaebum asking Jackson how he'd want to be let down if he were Bambam and then the river was mentioned and then something about Jackson wanting to go there for a picnic one day. Jaebum tried not to dwell on how stupid he felt for pushing too, Jackson had declined at least twice. 

This time Jaebum was sure it wasn't not a date. He made that clear himself when Jackson asked who else would be coming and he said no one. Just the two of them on a picnic at the river. Just as Jaebum was cringing at the memory of the words 'come on, it'll be fun' trying to convince himself he wasn't sounding desperate a buzz from his phone on his pillow broke him out of it. 

He held his breath as he unlocked it to see the message from 'Bammie'. Bambam had changed the contact name himself at some point when he had Jaebums phone last week.

Bammie:  
Could have just told me yourself instead of getting Jinyoung to do it but whatever

Jaebum couldn't help but feel relieved and a bit stupid. Not only was Bambam right, he should have told him himself but he should have known Bambam wouldn't have gotten too upset. He wasn't the dramatic type, sure he liked to gossip and hear about drama or watch it but mostly he stayed out of it. He didn't crave the wrong type of attention or sympathy, he would never have made a big deal about it. Honestly Jaebum thought Bambam was probably more relaxed about it then he was. He stared at the screen for a while not sure what to write. He knew something was better than nothing so he ended up typing a quick 'sorry' to Bambam followed by a quick 'thanks' to Jinyoung. 

In hindsight it would have been better if Jinyoung didn't talk to him for Jaebum but he had done what Jaebum asked or at least eagerly agreed to. He wondered if this meant they were okay. Whatever he said to Bambam didn't seem to make him too upset so it couldn't have been out of spite but Jinyoung was a righteous guy he would have gone through with his word no matter his feelings towards Jaebum. 

He made a mental note to go see Jinyoung tomorrow still unsure on what to say but maybe seeing him would help. Until then he got up to continue on with his plan of working out. He wondered if he should start looking for a job, if he were to start going on dates with Jackson, or anyone it would be best to have his own money.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey sorry for it taking ages. Next chapter is the date ^.^
> 
>  
> 
> omfg face palm hard af. i totally forgot i wrote that jackson lives with his uncle then wrote his mum into it ahhhh all fixed now but jesus that was dumb.


	8. >7<

The next day Jaebum made his way to Jinyoung house easily. It was like routine his body going on autopilot. All the way to sitting down next to Jinyoung at the small glass circle table in his backyard. He was pretty sure it was his mother who opened the door for him, that they exchanged smiles and greetings but could remember what was even said. It was all so normal. 

Finding Jinyoung deep in a book sitting in the exact same cream painted metal chair next to the matching glass table was very normal, having a fight with Jinyoung wasn't. Jaebum couldn't even remember the last time the two fought, this bad. 

He had come as soon he woke up, throwing on any clean clothes in arms reach, which ended up being navy slacks and a grey shirt that didn't look as clean in the sunlight as it did in his room, and rushing out the door. Having been up all night looking for a job, none of which really catching his eye and those that did required owning his own car, meant as soon as he woke up got him to Jinyoungs around ten thirty.

Jaebum sat and waited like he had done every other time knowing not to interrupt Jinyoungs reading and that he'd put it down eventually. He was sure a few minutes had gone past and started to worry he was being ignored. He took off his jacket buying himself some little time before he couldn't take it and interrupted. 

"Sorry." Jaebums social media was dry and Jinyoung had gone into a new chapter. "And thank you for talking to Bambam." 

Jinyoung finally put down his book, bookmark slotted in place. It was a flat plane and had a tassel hanging off it, in Jaebums opinion it was much uglier then the pretty metal bookmark he had given him but apparently the metal pendant was too heavy and the metal flat paper clip way it slid on the paper caused dents and Jinyoung prided himself on how well he kept his books. It still sat on his desk upstairs so Jaebum wasn't too upset that he wasn't being used.

"Well that was a quick apology." By his tone Jaebum couldn't tell if he meant his short words or timing. He couldn't really tell anything by his tone. 

"I'm sorry for not noticing. You're my best friend I should have payed more attention." He swallowed hoping he had said the right thing.

"Do you know how I knew you were gay?" The words caught Jaebum off guard.

"I was staring at Jackson?" 

"Not just Jackson." Jinyoung broke a smile that instantly made Jaebum relax. "You've given a fair few guys the twice over, and you've never once showed interest in girls. Also there was the case of that porn in your history that was 'totally an accidental click'." He laughed as Jaebums face froze remembering the incident. "That you supposedly accidentally clicked about twelve times." Jinyoung rattled off. Jaebum had buried that memory, convincing himself he closed the window before Jinyoung noticed, and never thought of it again.

"If you knew, how come you never said anything?" He still couldn't shake his embarrassment. Jinyoung shrugged, shoulders settling in a relaxed state as he leant back into the chair. 

"I tried to hint or joke but you'd always get defensive of just that. Plus I kind of wanted you to tell me yourself." 

"Oh really?" Jaebums eyebrows couldn't get any further up on his forehead as a smirk played on his lips, tempted to laugh at righteous Jinyoungs hypocrisy.

"Okay, okay. I get it. I'm sorry." He couldn't help but laugh a little as did Jaebum.

"So..." Jaebum started after the laughter died and quiet took its place. "Are we okay?" 

"Yeah." 

They headed inside both grabbing a can of soda and making their way to the sitting room. A large room at the front right of the house that had three shelves of books in the corner, a piano and a fire place. They sat on the embroidered couch. Jinyoung reminding Jaebum for the hundredth that if he spills his drink on it his a dead man.

They got lost in conversation for a few hours, it was only on his walk home that he realised he forgot to tell Jinyoung about his date and ask for advice. It'll be fine he told himself, he doesn't need advice it's just a date and he'd see Jinyoung for the next five days at school if he does happen to need advice. Six days is plenty of time. 

 

Jaebum sat in his mothers car that was parked out the front of Jacksons house. In the back seat was an actual picnic basket he didn't know they had, packed by his mother with food made by his mother. He wondered if it was too much. Does anyone even go on picnics anymore? What if they're the only ones sitting on some plaid blanket eating from a god damn basket. 

He waited till his face stopped scrunching up almost against his will before going and knocking on the door. Strange deja vu washing over him as he knocked. Again, a very quick answer. Jaebum was sure this time that Jackson knew he was there and was just waiting for him to walk up. 

"Hey." Jaebums face unwillingly scrunched up again for some reason, he didn't have clue as to why but this made Jackson laugh. It was probably just to defuse the awkward situation that was Jaebum. Jaebums face relaxed in some what of an awe expression, Jackson had decided today was an oversized light pink jumper day and though it was way to warm of a day for it, it made the younger look so soft and the older just want to squeeze him.

"Hey." Even his voice was soft and cute. 

Not much else was said as they got into the car, Jaebum waited for some response after Jackson eye'd the basket in the back, but it never happened. He sat looking straight ahead, hands pressed between his thighs and the seat, slightly hunched forward. With the weather being nice and warm and Jackson wearing a large jumper, that looked two sizes to big like every other jumper the guy wore, Jaebum decided against turning the heater on but did wind up his window. 

"Nice car." Jackson commented as his fingers traced along the fake leather seat stitching. It was Jaebums mothers car, it was a very nice car but also a very obviously a mothers car. 

"It's my mothers." Jaebum clarified in case it wasn't already obvious. "But I'm looking for a job so hopefully soon I'll have my own, parents already offered to pay half so shouldn't be too long." Why did Jaebum feel the need to add that?

"Oh you're looking for a job? Have you found anywhere?" Jackson chirped. 

"No not yet..." he wanted to say he had been looking just hadn't found anywhere yet he liked but maybe that would make him sound picky and undetermined so he left it. 

"Can you cook?" Jaebums arm flinched slightly away from the loud noise and the way Jackson moved towards him so suddenly, the car also pivoting a bit. 

"A little, why?" Given a recipe and no time limit, he does fine. Did Jackson want him to cook for him? 

"My uncle is hiring, you should apply." Jackson said sitting back in his seat with a dimmer yet still very happy smile. 

"Yeah okay." Jaebum spoke absentmindedly as he focused on parking the car. Deciding to reverse into the spot for an easier exit. It wasn't untill he stopped the car that he realised he had used Jacksons thigh to hold himself in place to look out the back window. "Sorry." Is all he said avoiding eye contact and quickly removing his hand to put it in park. Jaebum heard Jackson say something but with his voice being soft and Jaebum already half way out the car he couldn't tell what it was. 

Jaebum scoped out the place. Green grass, trees, a large footpath and the river. Simple enough. He noticed a large tree that cast a perfect sized shadow and nodded to himself. Opening the door to the back seat he pulled out the basket, the woven and undeniably baby pink basket. He scrunched up his nose at the thing in his hands then looked up to Jackson who looked quiet surprised. Jaebum couldn't be sure if it were the pink colour or the basket itself.   
"Hey, you match, so you get to carry it." He smiled holding the basket out to Jackson who raised an eyebrow before smiling and taking a few steps backwards shaking his head. Instead of being embarrassed by his unwanted pink basket he chose to chase Jackson with it. Steps quickly turning to sprints.

Jackson had the advantage of being a little fitter than Jaebum but Jaebum, if questioned would probably blame the basket in his hands for slowing him down. Jaebum quickly figured out he was going to lose whatever game they were playing and was also aware his running wasn't the most attractive, so once they got close to the spot Jaebum wanted to sit he gave up with his head held high and walked over to the shade and sat down. More so dropped onto his ass but either way it beat losing via falling to the ground in a heaving mess. He watched as Jackson stopped bouncing around and headed over to kneel infront of the basket sat next to Jaebum.

"Hungry?" Jaebum may have accidentally on purpose left the mat in the car. Jackson just nodded happily and a little erratically. He opened the basket and looked at what was inside, he hadn't really paid attention when his mum was filling it. Too busy making sure his ripped black jeans and white muscle tee looked okay with the shoes he picked out. Jaebum wasn't usually one to stress over an outfit, he even went so far as to ask his mother for her opinion. After a little kind hearted teasing she gave her approval. 

Inside the basket was two muffins, eight triangle sandwiches and two large cookies. One of which was quickly picked up by Jackson. "Who's Jacqueline?" He asked with a knowing smirk as he showed the iced side of the cookie to Jaebum. Sure enough in cursive pink Icing was the name Jacqueline, on a white icing background. A small crown on top of 'J', his mother had definitely been excited about her only sons first date but this was a bit much.

"I... Uh..." he struggled gritting his teeth in an apologetic smile.   
"Didn't tell your mum, I'm a boy?" Jackson finished his sentence for him, a quick look of disappointment covered up by a cackle.   
"I'll tell her... soon. Okay?" Jackson just happily nodded with a small 'okay' then started on his cookie. While Jaebum mulled over the weight of his words. For some reason the part about telling his mother not being it, it was what telling his mother implied about them. Jaebum was new at this and not exactly sure where the line was between 'a date' and 'dating'. Coming to the conclusion that, maybe, yes, he didn't mind if they did start dating, he stopped mulling.

Jackson watched with puppy eyes and pout as Jaebum moved the basket to his other side, a few crumbs stuck to his lip made it all too cute. Jaebum just laughed and patted the grass next to him, which wiped the pout off Jacksons face immediately. He moved so quick to sit next to Jaebum, the other wasn't sure if he meant to sit half on him or not. 

Jaebum leaned back on his arms, neck uncomfortably twisted so he could watch Jackson whose head was resting between his shoulder and neck. Luckily Jackson was looking out at the river because Jaebum was sure he had a double chin. This being the reason why he quickly looked away when Jackson moved to look at him. It was weird how Jaebums side could instantly feel cold from his absence even on a warm day. 

"Can you swim in it?" Why it took so long for Jaebum to figure out what he meant will forever be a mystery. His brain just sort of stopped working when he made eye contact.   
"I wouldn't." Jackson looked a little let down by this. "But if you want to go swimming you can always come to mine." With that Jackson was happy again, laying back down on his shoulder. 

Jaebum tried not to think of a shirtless wet Jackson in his backyard but he really couldn't help it. If Jackson maybe talked it could help but of all days today was the day Jackson decided to be quiet. He knew he should have 'taken care' of himself in the shower that morning so there would be no 'problems' later but he was in a rush and didn't have time. Jackson leaning across him to grab out a muffin from the basket on his other side didn't help anything. Surely there was no need for him to curve his back like that. A forced cough from Jackson and Jaebums eyes torn away from the others... posture. Whoops.   
"Did you want one?" Jaebum just dumbly nodded taking the muffin he was offering. Smirking slightly at it, Jacksons cough may have been deliberate but by the smile on his face Jaebum didn't feel any need to apologise. 

They sat for a while eating there muffins and talking about their week. Jaebum unsure if he was meant to get jealous when Jackson said some girl was hitting on him. He hadn't exactly said she was but it was pretty clear, to Jaebum at least. Jaebums pretty sure the younger doesn't like girls so he didn't care, too much. He also noticed the way Jackson couldn't sit still. Going from sitting on his feet to sitting on Jaebums out stretched leg to actually rolling around on the grass. It reminded Jaebum of a puppy, in need of a walk or someone to play with. 

Jaebum had also noticed Jackson looking over to the kids playing soccer more than a few times. Jaebum spent most of yesterday afternoon and night in his home gym, which had the opposite effect than it was supposed to, so he was more than happy to tell him to "go." Hand waving in the direction of the game being played.   
"Really?" Jackson jumped up on his feet but still crouching, ready to run as soon as Jaebum said so.   
"Yeah, I don't mind." With a soft smile Jackson was gone. 

Jaebum watched as he went over, making sure they let him play before getting out his phone. He wasn't too surprised to see a text from Jinyoung waiting for him. He had put it on silent earlier in the day not wanting any distractions. 

JY:  
How's the date gijhin   
Going?*

JB:   
It's gijhin great. 

Jaebum laughed at himself as he locked his phone and put it down. Deciding that watching Jackson play soccer with kids would be more entertaining than anything his phone had to offer. It seemed to be going well, he could tell Jackson was going easy on them, even smiling when someone pegged a ball at him that only just missed his crotch. Jaebum could only call it karma. His eyes drifted to the river, with the trees and grass, it would make a nice photo, so he pulled out his phone. 

He held it up and just as he went to take it a couple started walking through so he waited, sliding away another text from Jinyoung as he did. Just as the couple left the frame someone else walked in. A light pink jumper with a strange wide arm pose, followed by another pose, and another one. Jaebum didn't have to look up to know who it was. He took a photo for each next three poses the younger made and laughed. Too cute. 

Jackson walked over a little jog here there on his way.  
"Are they good?" He called out a little out of breath. Posing must have taken in out of him.   
"You can barely see you in them you were pretty far away."   
"So they're really good then." Jackson laughed but Jaebums brows furrowed, it didn't sound like he was being sarcastic but he didn't comment on it, distracted by Jackson slipping his phone out of his hands.

Jaebum just lent back and watched as Jackson looked at the photos, momentarily enthralled by Jacksons resting face he didn't hear the click of his phone button but could now see him typing.  
"Hey!" He reached out but Jackson was quicker pulling it away and holding it up so he could keep doing whatever it was he was doing.   
"You don't have family on your Instagram do you?" Jackson stopped to ask and Jaebum just sighed dropping his hand shaking his head. Jackson pressed somewhere on the screen Jaebum could only assume was 'post' and handed back the phone. "I wrote princess instead of boyfriend anyway." Jackson shrugged with smile before sitting back down next to Jaebum.

Jaebum only glanced at his phone, too quick to see what the caption was. "Boyfriend?"   
"Oh, uh, I meant." Jackson looked like a deer in headlights.  
"That's fine. If that's what you want." Jaebum looked back down at the photo, now able to read the caption. 'River date with my beautiful princess' followed by two pink heart emojis that would make it obvious to anyone who knew Jaebum, he didn't write it. He read it a few times mostly just the 'my' part. Unable to stop the smile on his face over it. 

"No." He looked up to a pouting, arms crossed Jackson who was doing his best effort to glare, Jaebum concluded the youngers eyes just weren't made to glare.   
"No what?"   
"That's not how you're asking me out." He huffed, holding his chin high and looking away.   
"Who says I'm the one who has to ask?" 

"Well, I thought you'd want to be the man in this relationship." Jacksons pout was now a smirk as he looked Jaebum over with a raised brow. "But hey if you want to be the girl I don't mind." There was something in his voice that made Jaebum straighten up, unsure if he had imagined it becoming lower or not.   
"Okay, pretty sure there is gender stereotyping somewhere in that and secondly. Hell no." Jaebum couldn't help but think if they really did just discuss who would top and bottom or if it was just him having his mind in the gutter like he often did. Jackson just shrugged and went quiet, the older wondered if he was waiting for Jaebum to ask. A few seconds or minutes went by and Jaebum still wasn't sure if he should ask. 

"So how does it feel to be in public on a date with a boy?" Jackson asked, while simultaneously trying to figure out what was on the sandwiches.  
"Not bad... only a one or two odd looks."   
"It's the basket." His words were quick and followed by a nod to Jaebums raised eyebrow.  
"Excuse me, you're pink too." The older pointed out literally.  
"Yeah but I make it work." A smug smile played on his lips as he raised his chin. Jaebum was starting to figure out Jacksons confidence, much like his mood were a bit of a roller coaster.   
"Are you dissing my pink basket? It's cute!" He grabbed the basket, tucking it under his arm protectively.  
"Who is cuter? me or the basket?" The younger challenged, moving closer, leaning on one arm to do so. 

Jaebum leaned forward too, until his face was merely an inch away from the other. He purposefully looked down to the very pink lips that belonged to Jackson and every so slowly opened his mouth.  
"The basket." No one moved for a second, or a minute, Jaebum couldn't tell.  
"Fine. I'm leaving." Within a blink of an eye Jackson was on his feet. Jaebum instinctively reached out, grabbing Jacksons wrist and pulling. He wasn't entirely sure if Jackson would have actually left, he didn't really have time to think about it before his hand stopped him. In Jaebums mind, he wasn't sure if Jackson knew if he would have actually left, he seemed more of an act on impulse type of person.

Jackson, paired with some strategic falling, landed on Jaebums lap and was most certainly going to deny that it was on purpose. Aside from the obvious seating of his legs either side of Jaebums thighs, he refused to look at him. Chin high, arms crossed and - Jaebum pressed his lips against his. Crossed arms fell to fingertips on the older's chest as his face leaned into the hand that cupped it.

Jaebum was surprised by the unfamiliarity. Their lips had touched before, yet this time felt completely different. Jacksons lips somehow softer, and Jaebums stomach felt a little lighter, of course he wouldn't call it butterflies, he's a 'man'. His free hand sliding around Jacksons waist incase he were to slip away. His other dropped to his thigh in a useless attempt to pull him closer, both arms feeling weak and flimsy all of a sudden. Jackson must have got some idea by Jaebums hand slowly raking down his thigh and pressed his lips harder back, parting them and Jaebum followed suit. Warm breath filled his mouth, followed by a wet tongue that slid against his own. He felt something in the back of his throat bubble up, before he could do anything to stop it the deep groan escaped him directly into Jacksons mouth. A small whimper in response from the other and Jaebum was done. 

He let go and fell back on the grass, arms laying over his face to block out the world. Not only did he just moan into Jacksons mouth, in a very public place, but just from a simple kiss he was already half hard. He wanted to roll over to hide it but Jackson was still on his lap so he just hoped that his jeans and tee would do. Realising maybe a few seconds late, that Jackson might have become offended by Jaebums sudden disconnect he used one hand to rub his thigh either apologetically or comfortingly, whichever was needed. He dropped the arm over his crotch. 

Jaebum finally feels himself calm down and sits up, leaning back on his arms to keep a distance from Jackson, who apparently had got bored and pulled out his phone. Jaebum watched as his eyes furrowed and relaxed, mouth pressed to a thin line then pulled up at one edge. He had the faint feeling that the other knew he was being watched. His fingers tapped away before putting his phone in his back pocket and standing up. 

"Everything okay?" Jaebum asked hoping whatever it was bothering him wasn't in fact himself.   
"Yeah. Was meant to hangout with Mark after but Bambams there and... that might be awkward." Guilt. That's what was on his face, what was bothering him. With that Jaebum decided to put off asking, and the rest of the food in the basket. 

"So I'm taking you home?"   
"Or maybe go back to yours?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has just been sitting in my notes I usually try to have the next next finished or almost finished before posting but felt I left it while and she put something up.   
> So yeah not edited or anything sorry not that they ever are really hahaha   
> I don't write... intimate? Things well so they all be awkward but that's fine because virgin Jaebum is awkward.


End file.
